So, to all of the people of The House, ask yourself – is your social group a clique? Here are some questions to ask in order to determine this or not:

1. Does the group consistently and positively welcome new team members when they first arrive?  If yes, what do they say and do with the new group members? Healthy signs: “Jump in, ask questions, contribute your strengths, we like diversity …”.

2. Does the group reach out to all (especially new people) for lunches, hang out times, fellowship, etc…  The action to include is a healthy sign of a tight bond that can stretch without breaking.

3. Do the group members take steps to get the new people up to speed quickly and involve them in ministry and House functions? Or do they expect new people to prove themselves. If you witness the latter, it is a sign of ill-health.

4. Do people feel like they must confirm or be a certain way in order to fit into your group or to be accepted?

Cliques are BAD! So let’s work to avoid them at all cost. Do something intentional today to reach out to new people that come around. We are all part of the Body of Christ and everyone is welcome in The House. Will you do your part to make sure they know it?

Word…

PA

This morning I read Matt 18 and it talks about dealing with a brother who has sinned against you. I immediately thought about the story that I read the day before. If only Tupac and Biggie and all their crews read and applied this passage of truth to their lives – maybe they would still be here today.

“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” – Matt 18:15-17

So, basically, if we have beef with a person, we learn to follow a 4-step progression.

1. Go to them and try to work it out. Go them by yourself and in person and clearly tell them how they have offended you. Don’t text them, don’t tell other people and try to gain a lynch mob of supporters, and for goodness sake, don’t ignore it and stew over it and let it build up. Go to them!

2. If that doesn’t work, go to them again with a mutual friend or two. Try again to talk it out. Sometimes having a 3^rd party to mediate can help keep tempers cool and can help each side see the other person’s point of view.

3. If this still doesn’t work – tell it to the church. This will bring a spiritual advisor into the mix to help mediate and render judgment of who is right and who is wrong. Sometimes when we try to work things out with a brother or sister, we just won’t agree. But when you bring a pastor into the mix, you at least will get a fair and honest judgment and then you have to be willing to live with the outcome. Sometimes it’s obvious that both of you are wrong and you just need to amicably go your separate ways.

4. If the person refuses to try and work it out – disassociate with them. This is what it means to treat them like a pagan or tax collector; you don’t have anything to do with them. Go your separate ways, without malice in your heart because you know you have done all you can to attempt to reconcile. And notice, this is the 4^th step in the progression, NOT the 1^st step. Too many people are afraid of conflict and immediately go to this step without trying to reconcile. That’s NOT the way God instructs us to do it.

So, I hope this helps you squash the beef with a brother or sister. Life is too short to keep enemies!

Word…

PA

1. Do what you say you will do!

2. If for some reason you can’t do what you say you will do, let me know well beforehand.

3. Do what you say you will do with EXCELLENCE! Shoot for perfection so that you won’t have to do it over again.

4. Make No excuses and No explanations of why you didn’t do what you say you will do.

5. Don’t give me attitude when and if I call you out for breaking any of my rules!

We have to become people of high quality, high integrity, people that are faithful and dependable and be counted on to keep our word.

Word…

Pastor Alex

One of my favorite times of the day is in the morning. Every morning I usually wake up to the 3 little kids running and jumping in my bed wanting to hug and kiss me and my wife. They come in to our bedroom with big smiles on their face yelling “daddy, daddy” in their high pitch kid voice. It’s the best sound ever! I love hearing their voice in the morning time. By this time it has been roughly 10 hours or so since I have seen or heard them and my heart is ready for some quality time with my kids. Then, they usually climb into the bed and lay in between my wife and I, stopping long enough to give us a few hugs and kisses. I love starting my day this way. No matter all that I have going for the day, no matter what problems are looming that I was not able to solve the day before, no matter how long my day is going to be – this quality time hugging and kissing my loved ones, starts my day on the right note. After a few minutes I usually get up and head to the bathroom, but Ang usually lingers in the bed a little longer. She spends extra time soaking in all the hugs and kisses that she can get. She knows that her time is almost complete when she begs for that extra kiss but the kids are ready to jump down and start their busy day full of playing with every toy in our house and making a handful of messes. We are so blessed!!!

As much as I love and cherish these times, I must admit, there is something that I enjoy even more. I love going to my kitchen table in the mornings and spending time with my creator, my savior, my redeemer, my heavenly father – Jesus. I wonder if He feels the same way about spending time with me that I feel about spending time with the kids that He has blessed me with. I wonder if He smiles when I choose to spend time with Him in the morning – hugging and kissing him. Enjoying quality time with Him before the day gets too hectic and before the problems begins.

I’m sure that He does!

I want to encourage you to spend time hugging and kissing your heavenly Father every morning. To borrow lyrics from the group NewSong: “Before the day slips away and before the world rushes in again, why don’t you stop and say you love Him”.

Every morning, spend some time with God by giving Him some hugs and kisses!

Word…

Even more, I hope we are surprised by some of the people we see. I’m sure we would all agree there are a few “shoe-ins”: people like John the Baptist – who was said to be the greatest ever born to man, people like King David who was a man after God’s own heart. I’m sure we will see Paul, who authored many New Testament books of the Bible, the apostles who died to spread the gospel, Mary – the mother of Jesus, Lazarus and Mary Magdalene, and many more heroes of the Bible. I can’t wait to meet people like C.S. Lewis and Oswald Chambers. Preachers like Smith Wigglesworth and Billy Graham will no doubt be sitting at the feet of Jesus. These are all people who fought the fight, kept the faith and finished the race. There will be no doubt we will see them in heaven.

But I hope there are a few last minute additions too. I hope that in the final moments of their lives, people like Michael Jackson, Elvis, Princess Diana, and Whitney Houston all repented of their sins and found a spot in heaven. I hope Marilyn Monroe, Chris Farley and Heath Ledger had the chance to ask for mercy and grace before they breathed their last breath. I hope that my grandmother – Naomi asked Jesus into her heart before she entered into eternity. I hope to be surprised. I hope!

These are people who gave so much of themselves here on earth, but just didn’t seem to know the real TRUTH! I wonder if anyone told them about Jesus, but they just rejected him. Choosing to live the way they wanted to live. I wonder if they thought they were on the right road, but had trouble showing it by the fruit they produced. I wonder if they had an 11^th hour encounter with Jesus like the thief on the cross. Although these people didn’t appear to live their lives in a way that would guarantee their names are written in the Lambs Book of Life, I hope somehow, someway, they found Jesus and we will see them in heaven.

I’m not the ultimate judge, but I do know God’s word is clear: anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. You have to call on him! I hope we are surprised by many people who actually call on him in the final moments of their lives. I hope they receive grace and mercy and most importantly the precious gift of eternal life.

But that’s just it… I can only hope for these people! What about you? I don’t want to have to hope your name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. Do you know Jesus? Have you already called on Him to save you? You don’t have to hope you make it to heaven, you can know for certain right now!

I pray that you call on His name and ask him to come into your heart and live there as your King. Don’t wait until the final moments of your life and hope that you have the chance to get right with him. Do it now!

Word…

Pasta’ Alex

This morning I was thinking about when Angie and I started dating. I will admit, I liked her for a while, all the way back to high school when I saw that she was a beautiful and Godly woman. We dated once but it didn’t work out. So I did my thing at college in Missouri and she was actually engaged to be married to another dude. He was cool. I liked him. But, thankfully, at least my kids would agree that this is something to give thanks for, they broke off their engagement in the spring of 1992 and my interest in her was rekindled. When I returned home from college that summer, the chase was on!!

We spent pretty much every waking moment that we were not at work together that summer. We were inseparable. I saw her every single day and started to really dig her. The more time we spent together, the more fond I grew of her and eventually fell head over heels for her. By the end of that summer, I was smitten! I liked everything about her! She loved the Lord with all her heart. She was smart and charming and we could talk and flirt for hours. Her smile melted my heart. Her sense of humor was refreshing, she really “got me” and thought I was funny. And, oh yes, her beauty!!! Her long dark hair, piercing blue eyes and her legs! Don’t even get me started about those legs! I was in love!

And she made me work for her love too. I asked her over and over to be “my lady” but she made me work for her hand. I loved it!! I loved the pursuit knowing that the prize, once I attained her love, would be worth all the time and effort. My pursuit lasted about 7 months and it was so much fun!

I wonder if this is how God feels about pursing our hearts.

He says in John 6:44; “no one can come to me unless the Father draws them.” He is basically saying that in order for us to enter a relationship with him, he has to pursue us. The type of relationship he is talking about is one that offers eternal life.

His Word also says in 2 Peter 3:9: “that it is His will that none, that he is patient with us, waiting for us”. He loves us, each of us. And, like a man chases a woman and makes her his bride, he is willing to chase us in order to prove his love to us and for us. My question is this…

The Lord is waiting to win your heart. How long will you make Him wait?

Don’t play too hard to get! He is long suffering and patient, but he won’t wait forever. I encourage you to not make him wait too long before you completely give him your heart.

Oh, and he can’t be fooled. I knew when I had Angie’s whole heart. How much more do you think God knows you! You can’t fool him by giving him a part of your heart and try to sneak around him. He doesn’t roll like that! All or nothing is what he asks for.

I wonder if the young man that was gunned down at the mall knew this. I wonder if he gave the Lord his whole heart while he had breath in his lungs. Either way, his pursuit is over, but yours is still on.

What are you gonna do?!

Word…

PA

In the next 5 years, there are 3 things that will shape you more than anything else:

1. The places you go.

2. The people you meet.

3. The books you read!

So, what are you reading? I want to encourage you to make time EVERYDAY to exercise your mind and read something. My pastor has a reading plan that I have adopted: out of 5 books, 3 of them will be personal or ministry development, 1 biography and then 1 for fun book. Mix it iup and keep your reading fresh and exciting.

If you want to know a few good books that you should start with, let me offer a few suggestions. Here are a few of my favorite books that I have read in the last few years. You should go to the book store and pick these up so you can have them for your own personal library!

1. Weird by Craig Groeschel – This is the last book I read and it was so challenging. Craig challenges Christians to stop trying to live what the world would say is a "Normal Life" and to live a life that would be considered "Weird". He encourages us to honor God in all that we do and in the way we live.

2. Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders – Every year I take a group of leaders through this book. It is the BEST leadership book ever written!

3. Driven by Eternity by John Bevere – This book will put life into perspective for you. The decision you make at the cross will determine where you spend eternity, how you live your life will determine how you spend eternity.

4. Heavenly Man by Brother Yun – He will challenge you to learn what it really truly means to live for Jesus in the midst of persecution!

5. Visioneering by Andy Stanley – When Angie and I were leaving our last pastorate and didn’t know where we were going to go or what we were going to do, we read this book together. God used Andy’s words to bring us comfort and offer us direction at the critical time in our life. I remember one time, we were driving down the road and became so overwhelmed with what we were reading that we pulled over and cried and thanked God for his direction and provision!

6. The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley – EVERY COLLEGE and YOUNG ADULT needs to read this! Andy challenges us to make wise decisions. He says, "your direction, not your intentions, will determine your destination"! It’s so true!! Many young people think they know where the road they are on is going to lead them. But the reality of the fact is… you don’t know what you don’t know. Listen to people who have already gone down the road you are on.

7. It’s Not About Me by Max Ludado – This book will help you realize just how selfish you really are!

8. The Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg – This is a book that will encourage, challenge and instruct you on how to live in a way that will bring you the life that you want. Most people want to have a great life, but are not willing to do what it takes in order to have a great life! It’s all about DISCIPLINE!

9. 23 Minutes in Hell by Bill Wiese – If you ever had doubts about hell, this book will put them to rest. And, you will be encouraged to live your life in a way that will ensure you and everyone that you love never have to worry about going there.

10. Becoming a Contagious Christian by Bill Hybels – This book is a challenge to raise your game when it comes to sharing your faith with other people.

Well, there you have it. 10 great books that I think you should read. I love these books and I hope you do to. Once you read them, hit me back and tell me what you thought.

Word…

Pastor Alex

I have seen the WRONG boyfriend / girlfriend, pull someone away from their relationship with God more times than I care to admit.

This is why God warns us to be careful of our associations and he commands us to not be connected to someone who doesn’t have the same yoke as we do.

Friends, think this through!! I don’t care what they look like, I don’t care how much fun you have together, I don’t care how they make you feel and I don’t care if you have wonderful conversation!!!  If the person that you are in a relationship with does not possess the high Christian character that God is calling you to possess, RUN!!

Choose WISELY!

Word…

P. Alex

In chapter 11, Craig challenges Christian single people to create a strong wall to protect their hearts and bodies from the assault of sexual temptation. This applies to ALL Christian Single people, but especially if you are in a relationship. Pay attention! Here are 8 principles to use as building blocks in constructing a barrier between yourself and sexual sin.

1. Dress for spiritual success: Dress in a way that brings glory to God not to your body. Simply put, be modest! Tightness, cleavage, short and low cut – come on Christians! Step your game up!!!

2. Keep your feet on the floor: Don’t wrap your legs around each other. It’s a proven scientific fact that when smooth-shaved legs rub against hair legs, clothing vanishes!

3. No playing house, and no sleepovers: It happens so naturally when it’s late and doesn’t make sense to drive home. This is like playing the game – “let’s see if the rattlesnake bites!” You just don’t go there!

4. No tonsil hockey: If you draw your line as close to the edge as possible, your line probably won’t hold! This may sound extreme, but let’s face it, when you are French kissing – you know you want to do more. The Bible says let there not be a hint of sexual immorality. Create as much distance as possible between you and temptation! It’s extreme not to kiss and make out. But if you want different results, you have to do something different.

5. Avoid dangerous places: The Bible says when you see danger, flee from it! Cross the street to avoid it! We sometimes read it as though the Bible says, “When you see danger, casually stroll away from it if you don’t think you can handle.” This is not the case!! Run from danger!!!

6. Avoid time alone with the wrong people: You need to know who is risky for you and who tempts you. If you are dating someone who is distracting you from God, be honest about it and stop wasting your time! FLEE!!

7. Guard your eyes, your mind and your heart: As a Christian, your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit. It should be honored and respected. Would you look at some of the things you do in church? Would you think the thoughts you do in church? Would you allow your heart to belong to anything or anyone other than God? Don’t allow temptation into your church!

8. If computer porn is a problem, have your internet monitored: I would add to what Craig says by saying have it removed if you continue to fail. 3 strikes and it is out!!

When I read this stuff, my mind immediately wanted to dismiss this as too extreme. But, seriously, normal isn’t working. Let’s be honest, most of you reading this – if not all – have standards much lower than what Craig is suggesting here. AND… you if you are being really honest – you have not held true to them! Set your standards HIGH!! Don’t be afraid to be extreme in your zeal to honor and please God! Be WEIRD!

Word…

PA

PS. “Like this” or comment so that I know you read it. This is an important lesson!! I am posting this message for all of my flock but with specific people in mind (especially those of you in relationships). So, I hope you read this, but if not, I’m going to be mailing this to your house. It’s all because I love you and care about you and don’t want to see you fall into the same old sexual sin trap that myself and so many others have fallen into!

Remorse - that’s what indicates true repentance. The dictionary definition of remorse is; “a deep and painful regret for wrongdoing”.

The best Biblical example of true remorse would be that of King David. When he committed the sins of adultery and murder, he was absolutely remorseful. The Bible says that as soon as the profit confronted him with his sin, he acknowledged his sin and repented. We can then read his words of remorse in Psalms 51. He humbles himself, acknowledges his sin and asks for mercy. He realizes that since he was the one to sin, he needed to be restored by the one in which he sinned against – God.

Notice the contrast between King David and King Saul. Saul’s sins, by human standards, don’t appear to be as great as David’s. He was guilty of ignoring a minor detail in the mission that he was sent on and then he performed job responsibilities of a priest because he got tired of waiting. I mean, yeah, he sinned, but his sins weren’t the Big Ones like adultery and murder. Yet, notice what he does once he is confronted with his sin. He didn’t see the harm in his action and then offered a half hearted obligatory apology. He wasn’t truly sorry in his heart! He tried to justify his actions by minimizing his offense. Truth be told, many of us do this too.

Yet, even though, by human standards, his sin was greater, David is called a man after God’s own heart. Why? David understood remorse! In God’s eyes, it doesn’t matter what you do, he realizes that everyone has sinned and will sin. But, he is concerned with the condition of your heart in response to the conviction He offers.

David wrote in Psalms 51:16-17 “You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart.”

We would be wise to follow David’s lead. God knows you are going to sin. When you do, check your heart. Are you showing a deep and painful regret for the wrongdoing? That’s remorse.

Word…

PA